Monday, October 8, 2012

Things they should tell you before you have a baby... Part 1

My lifelong (well, since middle school, and that's pretty much lifelong)  friend is having a baby in about a month and I keep thinking of things I would like to tell her.  Things I wish someone had told me before I had a baby.  So here is my list so she knows she is not alone in those quiet moments of panic.

Having a baby is a shock.  You're pregnant, you decorate a nursery, you know how big your baby is in relation to various fruits- but when you have that baby... Oh. My. God.- there is an actual baby.  And they expect you to, you know, take the baby home...forever, and raise him.

See my expression?  Joy, and lots of shock!

After you come home with baby the first 3-4 hours are the weirdest hours of your life.  I remember with Jamin we drove home with Jud white-knucklng the steering wheel and driving me and baby in the back (Driving Miss Daisy anyone?) and when we arrived home Jamin was asleep.  So, we took him out of his carseat and put him in his bassinet.  And then had no idea what to do.  We just kind of awkwardly sat for a while.  Are you allowed to watch TV with a newborn sleeping?  Are you allowed to leave the room?  Major case of the weirds.

Hello, cozy baby.

Your baby is hot.  We live in Florida.  They really don't need mittens, a hat, a full sleeper and swaddle.  Poor boy needs some air.  Fans are good for babies too.  Don't be afraid of fans- the noise is soothing and the air circulation can help prevent SIDS.  Hot babies are not happy babies.  Good rule of thumb from our nurse when Jamin was born- babies need to wear what you wear for the weather plus one extra lightweight layer.  In the mood for a lightweight t shirt? Put baby in a lightweight long sleeve!  Brilliant.

This is important.  Always have two to three extra outfits for baby in your baby bag.  They have a lot of messy bodily functions.  Always have one or two extra shirts for mommy in the car.  Babies love to get their bodily functions on mommy.  Especially when your wearing black and decided to actually put on make-up.  And without fail when you take the time to do your hair your baby will spit up on it.  Don't worry about it- no one will really notice or smell it.

Sometimes it takes a while to lose baby weight.  The girls that post quasi-naked pictures on Facebook 4 hours after having their baby are lucky and that is exactly why they are posting- to let the world know how lucky they really are.  Unlucky girls know how to pretend to have lost all the weight by strategically placing their baby in front of their belly while in a bikini in a private back yard.  "Look at me- I'm a lucky one too!"  It's ok if it takes a little while and you have to fake it for a while- it will get better.  (Hey, even Beyonce wears Spanx and Katie Holmes had stretch marks!)

If you can't make it, fake it.

To be continued....!

1 comment:

  1. Aww, I love this and just in time for me too! 4 weeks to go now :)


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